I have been nervous.

[ Well it's more than that, but he takes a moment to think his words through. ]

You are so quick to flip your opinions on someone when they suddenly don't fit your ideals. A lot of what I wear to work, what I show you, is a shield.

I am still morbidly depressed. My self image is one filled with disgust and loathing. I am a lot weaker than I put on.

[ He swallows. ]

I did't want to lose you by telling you, Grell. Ironically, you are one of the only things keeping my sanity intact.