We know from canon that the age order for the reapers reapers is Will and Grell are oldest, then Eric, then Alan, then Ronald. Eric is SUCH a middle child. He shirks responsibility and likes attention.
Eric sees Will and Grell as his future. William is emotionless and cold. Grell is twisted and crazy. He knows eventually he and the younger reapers will all be one or the other. Eric himself can't connect with the people he reaps. It's much too hard. He sees himself becoming colder and colder and colder as time goes on.
Then there's Alan.
Alan is gentle and kind and comforts the people he reaps. Eric can't. It's too hard. It hurts too much. It hurts Alan too, but Alan does it anyway. That's why Eric sees Alan as someone who is much stronger and better than himself.
And yes, Eric is deeply and helplessly in love.
He doesn't like his life. He doesn't like the future he sees for himself. He doesn't think that they're... good. But, Alan is. Alan is the only good thing in this life that seems to him like it has no end, and he'd do anything to keep Alan in the world.
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Eric sees Will and Grell as his future. William is emotionless and cold. Grell is twisted and crazy. He knows eventually he and the younger reapers will all be one or the other. Eric himself can't connect with the people he reaps. It's much too hard. He sees himself becoming colder and colder and colder as time goes on.
Then there's Alan.
Alan is gentle and kind and comforts the people he reaps. Eric can't. It's too hard. It hurts too much. It hurts Alan too, but Alan does it anyway. That's why Eric sees Alan as someone who is much stronger and better than himself.
And yes, Eric is deeply and helplessly in love.
He doesn't like his life. He doesn't like the future he sees for himself. He doesn't think that they're... good. But, Alan is. Alan is the only good thing in this life that seems to him like it has no end, and he'd do anything to keep Alan in the world.