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William T. Spears ([personal profile] death_glare) wrote in [community profile] thedispatch2015-08-01 10:43 pm

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[ Every so often, things went smoothly at the London Dispatch and the group was able to take some time to relax and hit the local pub together. It was usually Ronald or Eric's idea. Alan would quietly agree they could use the calming atmosphere after such a long work week. William always had to be convinced to join in the excursion. And Grell always showed up late, having to go home to 'freshen up'

Tonight happens to be one of those nights. No scheduled reapings and paperwork up to date. Time to unwind~ ]
amongthethorns: (Default)

[personal profile] amongthethorns 2015-08-02 06:21 am (UTC)(link)
[Just leave it to Ronald and Eric to somehow convince him to come along. Then again it was best to come along rather than to let them come alone and have to come after they've gotten up to their usual troublemaking. He's content to sit at their table with William but tilts his head a bit. That sour face is a bit troubling and it makes Alan worry a bit.

There's nothing to be lost is William shuts him out. He knows this much and it might be best to approach him before the others come to the table while they're waiting for drinks and things. Thhat's how after a split second's hesitation he finds himself reaching over to touch William's shoulder gently.]


Is something the matter, William? You to be a bit out sorts. If you wanted or needed to talk, I'm a very good listener.
amongthethorns: (Default)

[personal profile] amongthethorns 2015-08-02 06:44 am (UTC)(link)
[So he is right to be concerned.]

What's the matter? If you talk about it and share it the problem might not seem so big. Who knows, maybe I can help a bit somehow.

[A pause, his eyes looking William over as if trying to see what's wrong.]

I'd like to help you if I can.
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[personal profile] amongthethorns 2015-08-02 07:15 am (UTC)(link)
Sometimes you don't have to. Want to talk to me about it?

[He sighs softly sitting back in his chair. Surely William didn't think that everthing needed to be said though. He had to know that there were ways to communucate without speaking.]

Well to be honest, you agreed with very little fuss. It makes me think your mind might be elsewhere.
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[personal profile] amongthethorns 2015-08-02 07:51 am (UTC)(link)
What makes you so uncertain?

[The younger reaper toys with his own drink, a gloved finger trailing the rim of it thoughtfully.]

Are you unhappy with how things are now?
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[personal profile] amongthethorns 2015-08-02 08:25 am (UTC)(link)
[He understood that being unhappy. None of them were here because they had been happy after all.]

But now?

[He's prompting gently watching William. Surely he's not unhappy here in this life too? He certainly hoped not, Alan actually liked this new life even if it was supposed to be a punishment.]

Distracting yourself from something doesn't make the problem go away it's still there in the end, until you confront it. But the good part of it now is you don't have to face it alone.
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[personal profile] amongthethorns 2015-08-02 08:53 am (UTC)(link)
Well I think that we're all going to be here for sometime regardless of the effort we put in. I think maybe it would be a good idea for you not to work yourself to the bone but enjoy yourself a bit more.

[He takes a sip of his drink then smiles a bit before tugging his gloves off.]

After all we're supposed to be learning about the value of life and life isn't just mindless work. It's friends and family - which is what our dispatch is supposed to be. Whatever happens after this, Heaven or redemption - whatever comes after we don't know for sure but I think we should make every effort to reach it but also every effort to enjoy the moment and each other's company.
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[personal profile] amongthethorns 2015-08-02 03:11 pm (UTC)(link)
I-

[Well that's a good question so he'll take a minute because he knows this moment is rare and it's important to be honest.]

I used to, sometimes I still am a bit. The things I never did, the people I left behind... There are things I still regret.

[He's sure everyone has their regrets, mistakes and things they had done just a tiny bit differently. He doesn't want to dwell on them it does no good.]

But I started to look at the good that came out of it so it isn't so bad. If I hadn't done that, I would have never met any of you. I wouldn't be here to comfort the dying - to bring their souls and records to judgement or help them find peace. I think that's important.
Edited 2015-08-02 15:12 (UTC)
amongthethorns: (Default)

[personal profile] amongthethorns 2015-08-03 12:46 am (UTC)(link)
I'm glad to see that you feel that way as well, Sir. We all feel the same about you I'm certain.

[He is. He's sure that this is true because well Grell makes no secret of his fondness for William and Ronald and Eric care in their own ways. They just weren't as over-the-top as Grell.]

Is it really so hard to find some happiness here? I've always considered the dispatch my family - it helps not miss my old one so much.

[Cue a soft smile a little laugh.]

Ronald is like a little brother. Then Grell is enough of a handful to be a least three whole siblings on his own. I guess you'd be the big brother, maybe the father - better than mine by leaps. Then there's Eric but -

[He gestures a hand a little dismissive wave and soft eh sound because he's not even sure. Sometimes he's the little brother, sometimes the oool older brother sometimes he's not even a brother at all and that throws off the family comparison.]

Point is, you can be happy if you try.
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[personal profile] amongthethorns 2015-08-03 06:30 pm (UTC)(link)
Well you're always going to miss her. That isn't something that will ever stop I'm afraid. It just is - that's the nature of loss and love they don't ever really leave your heart. We just find better ways to cope with the emptiness.

[He frowns a bit before reaching again for William this time his wrist.]

Nothing is going to bring you both back on the same plane and that's heartbreaking fact. However, it wasn't your fault. I know you. Whatever happened wasn't your doing you're a good man and whatever happened was very much beyond your control. I believe this even without you telling me because that is simply how you are.

[He draws in a breath pausing for a moment. They're already in tricky territory but he'strying his best to tread carefully.]

Speaking as a father's child, I can tell you that though we're partedI wish no ill on my father. I'm certain your daughter is the same. She wouldn't want you to suffer or blame yourself. I'm certain that she knows you love and care for her deeply even now.