[ He hesitates on continuing. How does he form what he wants to say? And why should he expect anyone, even Alan, to listen and feel sympathetic? He's not unique in his depression. Perhaps he feels like speaking up makes him look selfish, like his issues hold more weight than any of the others. ]
...Is there any reason for me to put in all this effort?
no subject
...Is there any reason for me to put in all this effort?