thedispatch | (no subject)

[ Grell's gaze sinks as she retracts her hand, folding it back against her middle. She's disappointed, surely. Mostly in herself; by now, she should expect rejection.

The hurt does sharpen her tone just so, bit overall, her voice only become more withdrawn. ]

Life is a series of illusions, isn't it... We look to its beauties to assuage the waking misery of reality. If only it were enough.

[ William sighs heavily after the other's almost poetic words. He's uncertain whether having another there is making this entire situation more or less difficult than it already promised to be. Her words certainly aren't untrue, but it's obvious that, though they both have the same end in mind, they've come to the decision along very different routes.

Shaking his head again, he finally speaks. ]

Allowing yourself to be vulnerable to those beauties is the true mistake. It isn't illusion, as much as deception.

Such is the nature of illusion, isn't it? It preys on those most desperate to see it true... The lovers, the dreamers, the deficient...

[ Head bowing, she swallows down the quake to her voice that threatens to become something more. ]

But, no longer.

[ The other sounds so certain about her choice. Completely committed to seeing it through. William can hardly say the same. He's here, of course, but his reasoning keeps redirecting. Is he saving himself from misery or punishing himself? Does he deserve to die, for what he's done or is he simply running from the heartache?

His eyes finally shift to view his partner. Another man, obvious by his voice, but the vibrancy and flow of his hair, and slender physique almost makes him appear feminine. He idly wonders if that plays any part in him being here beside him. ]

How long have you been out here?

[ Perhaps he's hoping she's wavering in her decision, too. ]

[ The question seems to center her, somewhat; she raises her eyes to assess the positioning of the sun over the horizon. ]

I don't know. Three hours, perhaps?

[ It seems as though it's been longer. The cold has laid into her skin like a bed of needles, and she realizes that she'd preoccupied herself enough to ignore it until now.

Best get used to it, though. The water should be worse. ]

Yet you haven't jumped.

[ His words aren't judgemental, merely stating the obvious in monotone. Then he's silent for a moment, his gaze moving from the profile of her face, down to where her previously offered hand grips around her waist. Without giving much thought to it, he quickly takes her by the wrist before cupping his hand around hers. ]

[ That moment of quiet leaves her to wonder, had she been making peace with her decision or dallying on it?

Ah, but then, he's suddenly grabbing her. She violently flinches, raising her free arm to cover her face-- and yet, the gesture she receives is quite the contrary to what she instinctively knows. His hand is so warm. Surprisingly soft.

Grell's eyes are wide with question, her brows pressing together with disbelief. She doesn't quite understand it, but tears begin to well. ]

...I...

[ Does she defend her decision? Question him? She truly doesn't know. ]

Edited 2019-11-25 09:35 (UTC)

[ Every reaction he pulls from her hits like hammer against his chest. The fear, tears and uncertainty - he sees his wife's last moments in each. He swallows the lump that's built in his throat, his own brows knitting together. No matter how little he knows of this person, he can't bring himself to make the same mistake twice.

Gripping her hand hard enough to prevent her from pulling away, he turns back towards the road. There's a frantic scan for his horse, who, thankfully, hasn't wandered far. Then, with a forceful tug, he's urgently pulling her along towards it. He has to act on this thought now before he doubts himself. ]

What-- what are you doing?

[ Attempting to dig her heels into the soil, he strength only sends her tumbling after him with a frantic whimper. ]

S-stop!! I don't understand-- Do you know me?!

[ Fine, if she must, she will dead weight herself, dropping down to her knees. ]

Please, if you're going to take me back, just let me die here!

No, I don't. And I don't know where we are going.

[ Certainly not back to London, there are too many memories there that he was trying to escape. ]

But I am not letting you fall from that cliff.

[ He'd normally let a man climb up a horse on his own, but he doesn't trust that she will. And judging by how easy it was to drag her along, he finds no issue in hoisting her up into the saddle. Then with another push, he's seated behind her. The reins are taken up and the horse follows along the dusty path, opposite the way William had come. ]

What?

[ Grell shouts in protest as he picks her up and slings her onto the saddle. Arms about its neck, she attempt to slide off the other side to escape, but a shove back in place leaves her cowering long enough that his arms may pin her in place. ]

Isn't that why you were there? I don't understand what it is that you want...

[ Frankly, she sounds close to crying now, she's so terrified! ]

[ William takes some time to respond, not really certain of the answers to her questions. ]

It was.

[ What is he doing? This person's business is none of his own. Wasn't allowing himself to care for another his downfall for all that's happened to him? Why is he knowingly doing so again? ]

I am protecting you.

[ Hands gripping onto the horse's mane, Grell is able to peer over her shoulder at him. Clearly, she's bewildered by the concept! ]

You said it yourself, you don't even know me... And if you had, you who's to say that you wouldn't wish to see me over the edge?

[ He mainly keeps his eyes on the trail, but looks down to her when she turns to him. ]

Honestly, knowing you doesn't play a part. I watched as my own wife fell to her death, why can't I protect someone I just met from the same fate?

[ Lips pressing, the redhead averts her gaze. That's an awful thing to hear. ]

I'm sorry. Truly. [ Closing her eyes, she shakes her head. ] I--... I know this is what you need right now, b-but I'm not the one to save. There's nothing for me here. I don't think I was meant to--

[ Grell's jaw clenches as she fights down the emotion that pools in her chest. ]

Please. You're prolonging my suffering. No matter where I go, I'll be alone.

You are with me, right now.

[ He says, in a matter of fact tone. With a kick to the horse's side, they speed up. Perhaps he's thought of a destination. ]

[ Grell falls into a stunned silence. People always come and go, so that means nothing to her; however, she can recognize the sentiment.

She raises a hand to settle over his wrist-- just as he kicks the horse into a full gallop! Yelping, she grasps onto his hand, instead. And immediately pulls away to grab at the horse once more, blushing ferociously. ]

W-what of tomorrow? A week from now? Next year?

[ It's an answer William needs to think over, so the silence following her question lingers for quite a bit of time. ]

I can't say how anything will go. Neither can you, or anyone else. Even the certainty we felt standing on the cliff's edge was interrupted.

[ He hums quietly as they approach a small town just west of Beachy Head. Being just after dawn, only the fisherman who work just off shore are busying about. The remainder of the town seems to still be waking. William directs the horse towards what looks to be a place they can rest and have something to eat. ]

It's not what either of us want to hear, I know.

[ Grell is about to quip that they've only left the cliff because of his shoddy decision-making, but he just dragged her down a hill and tossed her onto a horse like a ragdoll. So, instead, she turns her head away to slowly exhale in annoyance through puffed cheeks, very frowny-like!

Taking in her surroundings, she attempts to take note of the town's necessities, its routes. She's still not entirely confident that she won't have to escape.

To his latter statement, she hums. ]

No. But there's something to say for your honesty, I suppose...

[ William drops down off the horse, tying it up to the hitching rail. There seems to be some candles lit inside the building, but he waits until Grell's dismounted before approaching the door. His rescue attempt would be rather pointless if she took off while his back was turned. ]

I can purchase us something to eat. You should take up on that offer.

[ If she'd truly been standing at that cliff's edge for hours, she must need something. ]

[ Watching him intently, her mouth twinges upon realizing that he's giving her no room for such a thing. Huffing, she sees herself doing-- albeit quite clumsily. It certainly doesn't help that her legs are partly without feeling from the cold. ]

Might as well, if I'm to be sitting with you...

[ William frowns as he watches her struggle to climb down from the horse. She's being rather agreeable in following him despite objecting to it verbally. Being so lithe in comparison to him, she could probably out run him if she tried. As it were, he keeps close as they enter the building.

Soon enough they are greeted and given a seat at a small table near the place's run down bar top. It's obvious they haven't quite opened to taking customers yet today, but money is money, and in such a small town any business is certain to be good. The lady of the house offers to bring them some homemade breakfast if they won't mind waiting until the fire pit warms their cook top up.

There's a silence that lingers between them before William finally speaks up. ]

What is your name?

[ Grell has settled herself low in her seat, arms tucked tight against her middle. The establishment is warmer than outside, surely, but the fireplace hasn't quite heated the room yet, either.

She hasn't said anything all the while, and it's only once she's addressed that she raises her eyes to meet the other's. It occurs to her that she could give a fake name, but what would be the point, really. ]

Grell Sutcliffe.

[ William hums in acknowledgement. That family name is not one he recalls the family business working with, but there was no saying the redhead was also from London. ]

William T. Spears.

[ Assuming they're probably beyond a formal handshake, at this point, he refrains from holding his out. ]

[ With a likewise hum, she looks him over. ]

Of the Spears' family financial institution, I assume.

[ Not only does he seem the type, he's dressed well enough and is prepared to pay for her food, so she thinks she must be right. ]